She was 13 when I met her. Much of her last 3 years had been spent in and out of foster homes, with some occasional brief stints with her parents or other family members. She was polite but a little distant and suspicious of me – I suspect that she saw me as yet another adult with lots of questions to ask, but no compelling reason to care about or even consider her answers. I rattled through my usual list. Any major illnesses? Medications? Allergies? Feeling OK today?
Then, a question that struck a nerve. “What grade are you in?” Her head dropped, and the walls defending her soul lowered for a second, revealing shame. “6th, but I am supposed to be in 7th.”
A common answer – I’ve heard it a thousand times. Educational delay is a ubiquitous struggle for kids in state custody. The average foster kid is one full grade behind their peers by 6th grade. The lack of life stability, both before and during placement in foster care, causes them to miss valuable chunks of school. They change schools frequently, often several times a year. And even if they are able to attend, exactly how are they supposed to pay attention? Can you imagine sitting through math class while wondering if anyone knows it is your birthday? Or how your siblings are doing? Could you learn about history and ignore the thought that your own life is likely sooner to be written about on the obituary page than in the history book?
My heart broke for her. “No worries – everyone here is a grade behind.” Her head snapped up and her eyes met mine with a question. ”Everyone here is a grade behind,” I said again. “It’s because you have moved a lot, right? And every school has different curriculum, different schedules. Plus, it’s not like you haven’t had other things to think about. Don’t worry about it, just keep going. They won’t throw you out. Just keep going, keep learning, keep showing up.” A faint smile, a brief hug, and she was gone.
She needed what we all need – acceptance, validation, encouragement. She needed to know that it was OK to keep going.
Thanks, Dr. Shropshire, for this blog. Thank you for all you do. I’m so thankful that God has gifted you with the passion you have for helping these precious, neglected children.
I’ve seen this so many times in foster kids, also in children still with parents who move back and forth. My ex-son-in-law is an example. His sister who is 14 is now being allowed to be “home schooled.” You can guess what that means. I DO NOT want this cycle for my precious grandchildren. Jordan needs all the help and prayers she can get to direct their lives in the right direction. We do all we can. I just hope the Lord spares us until they and their mother are all well on their way. Thanks for being such a caring woman.
Thank you for the kind comments and for sharing. I can’t imaging spending my life doing anything else.
That child will never forget that moment or you. You have shared your priceless gift with her. Heaven only knows what the ultimate effect will be. You are changing the world….one child at a time.
Thank you