(the following story is from a recent conversation with a foster mom)
Recently my (foster) kids and I were having breakfast. One of the boys was messing around, as he normally does, and bumped his hand on the table. He began to cry, and when I asked where it hurt, he lifted his hand. I kissed his fingers and he said “no, right here.” I had only missed his hurt spot by a tiny bit, but he knew it and wanted me to kiss his hurt again. He has been with me a long time, and I wonder when he goes back home if his mom will understand what it means when he says “no, right here.” Will she know that he has a favorite bedtime story? And that he wants two hugs, not just one before he will fall asleep. Will she know that he likes goldfish crackers for his afternoon snack?
I am beginning to realize just how much there is about him that I should try to share with his biologic parents. All the ways that I help him get through the day. My biggest fear is this – will I forget something as small as the little kisses that heal his hurts?
If you are a foster parent, what can you do? Take pics, scrapbook, fill out a Life Book with your foster child’s likes and daily habits, talk to the biologic family at visits – be willing to learn a little about their traditions/habits and incorporate some of them, as well as share yours.
